Jan 10

Ten Girly Things Guys Would Do If It Was Socially Acceptable

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Someone online asked guys to name girly stuff they WISH they could do if it was socially acceptable.  Here are ten of the most popular answers they came up with . . .

 

1.  Wear a dress or a skirt when it’s hot out.

 

2.  Wear leggings or tights when it’s cold out.  One guy wore them for a Halloween costume once, and says he wears them under his pants now if it’s cold outside.  Yoga pants and really short shorts were also popular, because they look comfortable.

 

3.  Wear make-up to hide things like pimples and dark circles under your eyes.

 

4.  Wear body spray or cologne that smells fruity, or like flowers.

 

5.  Use the word “cute” more often.  Guys feel like they can’t say it, no matter how cute something is.

 

6.  Wear more jewelry.  Like bracelets and rings with huge gemstones.

 

7.  Order fruity drinks at the bar without being judged for it.

 

8.  Use things like facemasks to keep your skin looking good.  Apparently just the FEAR of your friends finding out keeps guys from doing it.

 

9.  Knitting or quilting was surprisingly popular.  It’s another thing guys want to do, but think their friends will make fun of them.

 

10.  Carry a purse, so you don’t have to keep everything in your pockets.

 

 

(Reddit)

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Oct 20

Women Are Angrier Drivers Than Men

Memorial Day Travel Expected To Rise With Lower Gas Prices

 

You think of men as being the ANGRIER gender, but apparently, when it comes to road rage, WOMEN are the lunatics.  So men are better at something driving related than women?  I did NOT see that coming.

 

 

A new study found women get 12% ANGRIER than men in different scenarios in the car.

Women get 14% angrier than men at backseat drivers . . . 13% angrier at people who don’t use turn signals . . . and between 10% and 12% angrier when people pass them, shout at them, or honk at them.

The study also found ANOTHER way that men are softer in the car.  29% of men said they’re more likely to open up and have a meaningful conversation when they’re driving, and 14% said it even makes them a better driver.

 

(FemaleFirst)

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Oct 18

The 26 Best ’90s TV Catchphrases

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E! News has a list of ‘The 26 Best ’90s TV Catchphrases,” and it’s very heavy on “Full House”, “The Simpsons”, and “Seinfeld” . . . as you’d expect.  Here it is . . .

 

1.  “D’oh!” . . . Homer on “The Simpsons”

 

2.  “How you doin’?” . . . Joey on “Friends”

 

3.  “Have mercy!” . . . Jesse on “Full House”

 

4.  “Excellent” . . . Mr. Burns on “The Simpsons”

 

5.  “The truth is out there” . . . the slogan from “The X-Files”

 

6.  “How rude!” . . . Stephanie on “Full House”

 

7.  “You got it, dude” . . . Michelle on “Full House”

 

8.  “Yadda, yadda, yadda” . . . from “Seinfeld”

 

9.  “Schwing!” . . . the “Wayne’s World” sketch on “Saturday Night Live”

 

10.  “Don’t have a cow, man!” . . . Bart on “The Simpsons”

 

11.  “Whoa!” . . . Joey on “Blossom”

 

12.  “Did I do that?” . . . Steve Urkel on “Family Matters”

 

13.  “We’re not worthy” . . . “Wayne’s World”

 

14.  “Oh my God, they killed Kenny!” . . . from “South Park”

 

15.  “Eat my shorts!” . . . Bart on “The Simpsons”

 

16.  “It stinks!” . . . from “The Critic”

 

17.  The grunt “Uuueegghh” . . . Tim on “Home Improvement”

 

18.  “Serenity now!” . . . George’s dad Frank on “Seinfeld”

 

19.  “Oh, Mylanta” . . . from “Full House”

 

20.  “Cut. It. Out.” . . . Joey on “Full House”

 

21.  “Make it so” . . . from “Star Trek: The Next Generation”

 

22.  “Isn’t that special” . . . the “Church Lady” sketch on “SNL”

 

23.  “I’m the baby, gotta love me” . . . Baby Sinclair on “Dinosaurs”

 

24.  “Resistance is futile” . . . from “Star Trek: The Next Generation”

 

25.  “Is that your final answer?” . . . Regis on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”

 

26.  “Hello, Newman” . . . Jerry on “Seinfeld”

 

 

(E!Online)

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Aug 12

Ice Cube & Fallon Explain What N.W.A. Does Not Mean

 

With the brand new movie Straight Outta Compton hitting theaters this week, Ice Cube stopped by the Jimmy Fallon Show to explain what N.W.A. DOES NOT stand for. Check out the hilarity

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Jul 13

Letterman Came Out of Retirement to Do a Top 10 List on Trump

 

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STEVE MARTIN and MARTIN SHORT are doing a comedy tour called A Very Stupid Conversation.  And during a show Friday night in San Antonio, DAVID LETTERMAN made a surprise appearance to rip on DONALD TRUMP.

Dave said he was enjoying his retirement until Donald Trump announced he was running for president.  That’s when Dave realized, quote, “I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life ladies and gentleman.”

 

Then he did a Top 10 list of interesting facts about Trump.  Check it out:

 

10.  That thing on his head was the gopher in ‘Caddyshack’.

 

9.  During Sex Donald Trump calls out his own name.

 

8.  Donald Trump looks like the guy in the lifeboat with the women and children.

 

7.  He wants to build a wall?  How about building a wall around that thing on his head!

 

6.  Trump walked away from a moderately successful television show for some delusional bull[crap] . . . oh wait, that’s me.

 

5.  Donald Trump weighs 240 pounds . . . 250 with cologne.

 

4.  Trump would like all Americans to know that that thing on his head is free range.

 

3.  (tie)  If President, instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving, he plans to evict a family on Thanksgiving . . .

 

OR:  That’s not a hairdo, it’s a wind advisory.

 

2.  Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans, he’s starring in a new movie entitled, “NO Amigos”.

 

1.  Thanks to Donald Trump, the Republican mascot is also an ass.

 

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Apr 30

[VIRAL] Video Of The Day “I’m Moving On”

A video of a five-year-old girl named Saige is getting a bunch of hits on YouTube.  She got angry at her brother for throwing dirt at her, and told her mom she wanted to move in with her friend  Jenn . . . because it’s time to move on with her life.

 

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Apr 28

34 Celebrities Who Have Claimed That They’re “Nerds”

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Jezebel.com has compiled a list of 34 celebrities and pseudo-celebrities who have claimed to be NERDS.  That’s a lot . . . especially since the site admits that the list only includes the ones they happened to come across. There are two possible explanations for all this NERDINESS.  One:  They want to seem relatable to people who aren’t rich, famous, and beautiful.  Or Two:  They are actual nerds.  Either way, the definition of “nerd” is probably stretched a little.

Here are the 34 celebrity “nerds” they uncovered, along with their quote.

 

1.  Model Karlie Kloss:  “I’m a nerd.”

 

2.  Rosie O’Donnell:  “I’m a nerd, what can I say?”

 

3.  Former “Bachelor” Sean Lowe:  “I’m a nerd.”

 

4.  Country musician Chris Young:  “I’m a nerd at heart.”

 

5.  Katie Holmes:  “I can’t deny that I’m a nerd.”

 

6.  Actress Sanaa Lathan:  “I’m a nerd.”

 

7.  Selena Gomez:  “I’m such a nerd.”

 

8.  Michael Bublé:  “I’m a nerd.”

 

9.  Natalie Portman:  “I’m such a nerd.”

 

10.  Teri Hatcher:  “Yes, I’m a total nerd.”

 

11.  Heather Graham:  “I’m just a nerd.”

 

12.  Sam Trammell from “True Blood”:  “I’m a vocabulary nerd.”

 

13.  Mindy Kaling:  “I’m really a nerd.”

 

14.  James Marsden:  “[I’m] a goofy drama nerd.”

 

15.  Zooey Deschanel:  “I’m a true blue music nerd.”

 

16.  Rachel Bilson:  “I’m a ‘Friends’ nerd.”

 

17.  Chris Rock:  “I’m a writer at heart.  Writing is a nerd job.”

 

18.  Jordana Brewster:  “I’m such a nerd!”

 

19.  Ansel Elgort:  “Augustus is quirky, weird, and nerdy.  That’s kind of how I am in real life.  Really!”

 

20.  Gabourey Sidibe:  “I’m a nerd and I don’t smoke pot.”

 

21.  “Mad Men” actress Jessica Paré:  “I guess I’m a nerd.”

 

22.  Michael Fassbender:  “I’m a nerd.”

 

23.  Colin Firth:  “I’m more of a nerd.”

 

24.  Seth Rogen:  “I’m just, like, [an effing] nerd who works all the time.”

 

25.  Mila Kunis:  “I’m such a nerd.”

 

26.  Ellen Page:  “I’m a nerd that way.”

 

27.  Orlando Jones:  “I’m a nerd.”

 

28.  Joe Manganiello:  “I’m a nerd.  But I’m not that hardcore.”

 

29.  Keri Russell:  “I’m just a nerd.”

 

30.  Chris Hemsworth:  “I’m a nerd, that’s right!”

 

31.  Rapper Redman:  “I know I’m a nerd.”

 

32.  Jessica Alba:  “I know, I’m a nerd.”

 

33.  Bono:  “I’m a nerd out to end poverty.”

 

34.  Zachary Levi:  “I get a lot that people have a hard time believing that I’m a nerd.”

 

 

(Jezebel)

 

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Mar 5

A Guy Covers “Uptown Funk” as Characters from “Family Guy”

There’s a guy on YouTube named Mikey Bolts who does impressions, and 1.8 million people subscribe to his channel. He mostly sings songs as characters from “Family Guy”. At least those are the videos he does that get the most hits.And a new one he just posted is making the rounds.  It’s the song “Uptown Funk” done as different “Family Guy” characters . . . the alien from “American Dad” . . . and Hank from “King of the Hill” for some reason.

 

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Jan 16

[Friday Funny] The Price Is Right #Fail

Yesterday, the announcer on “The Price Is Right” . . . GEORGE GRAY . . . BIT IT while he was jogging on a treadmill that was a prize in a game called “Most Expensive”. He was being goofy by jogging backwards, and it didn’t quite work out for him.  He’s okay though. Have a look…and a laugh!

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Jan 5

The Top Tips for Getting in Shape [Humor]

Photo: advancingyourhealth.org

Photo: advancingyourhealth.org

If your New Year’s resolution was to get in shape, we can help you get started with this list of The Top Tips for Getting in Shape.

 

Start eating kale.  But don’t start talking about eating kale, or I’ll kill you.

Eliminate carbs.  Sounds tough, but remember:  cocaine doesn’t have carbs.

Find a workout buddy.  Or a prostitute.  Either way, you’ve got someone to help burn calories.

Be a bad president.  Look how skinny it made Obama!

Cut fatty things from your life.  That’s right.  Get divorced.

Take the stairs at work.  Don’t have a job?  Take the stairs at home.  Don’t have a home?  Maybe fitness shouldn’t be a priority at this time.

Do one squat thrust every time a woman accuses Bill Cosby of sexual assault.

Stop posting memes that say things like, “Chubbies cuddle better.”

Every time you’re about to eat something unhealthy, think about your kids.  You’ll immediately take a shot of whisky instead.

Even if you must eat the whole bag of microwave popcorn, at least refrain from licking the butter out of the empty bag.

Join CrossFit.  Especially if you’re a self-involved a-hole who loves sharing your workouts with Facebook friends who honestly couldn’t care less.

Having sex is a great way to burn calories.  So whatever you do, avoid getting married.

Attempt to do the impossible and convince yourself steamed tofu DOESN’T have the taste and consistency of a festering dish sponge.

Take the stairs instead of the elevator.  And don’t worry, the residual wheezing is also a good calorie-burner.

Move to the Midwest, where you’ll suddenly seem much slimmer by comparison.

Give yourself an incentive to workout . . . like riding your bike to the Cinnabon.

Make sure the six-pack you’re working on at the gym isn’t Guinness.

Do ten crunches every morning . . . but throw the wrappers away before your trainer sees you.

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