Letterman Came Out of Retirement to Do a Top 10 List on Trump

July 13, 2015

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STEVE MARTIN and MARTIN SHORT are doing a comedy tour called A Very Stupid Conversation.  And during a show Friday night in San Antonio, DAVID LETTERMAN made a surprise appearance to rip on DONALD TRUMP.

Dave said he was enjoying his retirement until Donald Trump announced he was running for president.  That’s when Dave realized, quote, “I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life ladies and gentleman.”


Then he did a Top 10 list of interesting facts about Trump.  Check it out:


10.  That thing on his head was the gopher in ‘Caddyshack’.


9.  During Sex Donald Trump calls out his own name.


8.  Donald Trump looks like the guy in the lifeboat with the women and children.


7.  He wants to build a wall?  How about building a wall around that thing on his head!


6.  Trump walked away from a moderately successful television show for some delusional bull[crap] . . . oh wait, that’s me.


5.  Donald Trump weighs 240 pounds . . . 250 with cologne.


4.  Trump would like all Americans to know that that thing on his head is free range.


3.  (tie)  If President, instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving, he plans to evict a family on Thanksgiving . . .


OR:  That’s not a hairdo, it’s a wind advisory.


2.  Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans, he’s starring in a new movie entitled, “NO Amigos”.


1.  Thanks to Donald Trump, the Republican mascot is also an ass.