The Top Things You Don't Want to Hear on a First Date
September 19, 2014No Comments
Going on a first date can be awesome . . . or it can be hell. Here are The Top Things You Don’t Want to Hear on a First Date.
. . . And that’s when I realized that white supremacy was for me.
Trust me, you’re gonna want to wear a condom when you hit this.
Hi, I’m in the NFL.
I don’t believe in creation OR evolution. I think we’re all just characters in one of Kanye West’s dreams.
Do you speak Klingon, too?
I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a TV star, but I WAS on an episode of “Cops”.
I gotta take this call. It’s my wife.
My water broke.
Thanks to all the electro-shock therapy, I no longer hear screams at night.
Before we order the appetizers, I should tell you, I’m required by the state to disclose a couple things about my past.
This movie is so unrealistic. Believe me, that’s NOT what happens when you bury a corpse in the middle of the woods.
Sorry I couldn’t take you to that other restaurant. Turns out, it’s entirely staffed by women I’m stalking.
No matter what happens, I KNOW I’m getting lucky tonight. Because I just slipped myself a roofie.
In the trunk. NOW!
You’re a 38D? So am I!
I hope this leads to a second date . . . because I’ve never had one.
And THAT is when I got REALLY into necrophilia.